Fergilicious

We Always Knew The Chad's was bigger than Ground Round's!

 

Ground Round Checks In

Now Chad and Rob laid us down to sleep,

We pray our breasts for them to eat,

When we died – a man – no jake,

We prayed that the Golden Ticket – swiftly our lives did take!

The Chad - A True PA Ninja

 

I LOVE NY - AGAIN!

Let me break it off for you:  Frank and I have been getting wind F-ed all morning – nothing is talking – nothing wants to die.  We jump in the truck and cruise over to a new honeyhole – completely untouched as of day 2 of the season.  On the drive over we pig out on some grilled turkey bombs wrapped in cream cheese, bacon, and jalapenos.  No Busch Light or High Life yet – can’t celebrate until the ninjey clock strikes high noon.

 

We run and gun the new spot like it is our job – BECAUSE IT IS!  Can’t get a bird to strike to save our ninja lives. Clock says 11:15am and we have one creek bed left to check – Frankie turns to me and says ( true story – ninjas never lie ) “I just said a ninja prayer Rob – it is going to happen in this spot” 

 

Ninja Gods must have missed the prayer – we call for 10 minutes – and nothing answers.  Tails tucked, we start the walk of shame to the truck – BOOM – bird hits right in the creek bed we just left.

 

Half hour til’ noon and the fat lady still hasn’t sung.  Bird runs like O.J. into the bottom – starts his last strutting activity at about 150yds – wants his lady friend to come to him – a real man’s man to say the least.  Clock is ticking – my watch reads 11:45am – he wants it but doesn’t want to work for it.

 

IT IS NOW OR NEVER – I judge him at 50yds – the GOLDEN TICKET is released.

 

Ticket PUNCHED – he does a Triple Lindey into the creek and doesn’t move – the water runs red in Albany with the blood of this insolent bastard. 

 

How old is he?  As old as he’s going to get Ol’ Boy.  We had to know for sure – rangefinders don’t lie – 64yds.

 

 

Ground Round - Out

NOT ALL NINJY's are ON 100% all the time...

Sadly, some Ninjy's, though well trained and finely honed skillz, can't deliver the fatal blow, EVERY TIME. Even one of the Greatest, most successful Ninjy's, has suffered the pain and agony of a Missed Turkey..

Sadly this morning in the Mars/Cranberry, PA area, an evil Turkey that had created the need to be ninjy'd, survived an attack.

With this, said turkey will now have the opportunity to share with other turkeys the manner in which he was ambushed and fired upon. Just as bad as if the US Navy Seal Team Six had been unsuccessful in the attack on Bin Laden, this failed mission will carry consequences.

From today forward, the Cranberry, PA turkeys have an upper hand on all Ninjy's.... Depending on the availability of Couriers, carrier pigeons, and the coconut telegraph, the details of this ambush could spread throughout the Meleagris gallopavo species.

I call upon all available Ninjas that can descend upon the Cranberry, PA area and deliver and offensive beyond all others to rid the population of any knowledge of this failed attempt.

In his Buke Myōmokushō, military historian Hanawa Hokinoichi writes of the ninja:

“	They travelled in disguise to other territories to judge the situation of the enemy, they would inveigle their way into the midst of the enemy to discover gaps, and enter enemy castles to set them on fire, and carried out assassinations, arriving in secret.[3]

Don't Let Ninjis Play The Shell Game

Sometimes In War There Are Casualties…

Sometimes Strutters Ain’t The Strutter….

Moral Of The Story….

Never Let A Ninji Play The Shell Game….

Because No Matter What Shell The Pea Is Under…

One Of The Shells Is Gonna Get Ninji’ed.

The PCP Is On The Board With A Jake Fan For The B-Mobile!

I LOVE NEW YORK